Today I have again dealt with a very exciting topic: the queen and the king. What do I mean by that? Anyone who is a bit on the move in the spiritual scene or has already dealt more with the "higher" will already have an idea of what it is all about. This image of the queen and the king was formed to represent our highest self. It is the person we are when we are at our most powerful and at our most beautiful.
We all long for love in life and certainly for the most amazing person by our side that we can possibly imagine. A person who understands us, who stands by us, who takes us as we are with all our quirks (really all of them? Just kidding... :-)), who is always there for us and with whom we can simply share everything. A person with whom we can go through thick and thin until the end of our lives. We want the best lover, partner, best friend, husband and father all in one. The same goes for the female sex. We want the best lover, partner, best friend, wife and mother we can have. Isn't that basically how it is?
In reality, things often look a little different. We live in relationships with which we are "satisfied" and with which, we tell ourselves, we can count ourselves lucky. At least, that's what we always tell ourselves in order to feel better and not expose ourselves. And that was putting it mildly. I have heard quite different statements, such as "That's just the way it was back then. We got together and that's how it developed. Today we are married, have a house and a family and are happy" (and the whole thing with a stony expression and a resigned tone that speaks of anything but happiness). I am quite honest, when I hear something like that, it just shakes me. I think I have a built-in sensor for disagreement and dishonesty there. My stomach tightens and my gut tells me this doesn't feel good and this can't be right. These people can't be happy at all. They deserve more!
We are often brought up to believe that it is normal to live in a partnership and that it is not normal not to have a partner. This creates pressure and many then enter into a relationship relatively quickly instead of first getting to know themselves properly and finding out exactly what they want in life or even asking themselves whether they want a relationship at all. They then find a kind of security in the relationship, they fit into the social "normal" and feel more complete themselves. And once you are in it, the emotional hurdle of a break-up is often high and it takes a lot of courage (e.g. with regard to the critical "benevolent" environment that only wants the best for you). In addition, new perspectives for the time afterwards are needed that are constructive and motivating. But how can you create them if you don't know what you want and what else is on the market? We often don't give ourselves more than what we already know. I'm not saying that all people and partnerships are unhappy. I just often observe that many sell themselves far below their value and rather lead a mediocre fulfilling relationship with a well-rehearsed, often boring everyday life, which they then call their life. They neither develop together nor alone and seem to be stuck together somehow, waiting for a miracle to set something in motion.
But I also know couples who are super happy together and thus a true role model for me and other people. I asked myself: What do they do differently in return?
In my opinion, the secret lies in their life as queen or king. Both are in their full power and bloom. Both know their worth and would never sell themselves short. Both can set boundaries, act out of love and see eye-to-eye. They are fully with themselves, know themselves and are very good with themselves. They have clarity about what they want from life and who suits them. Both are adults and do not act out of their hurt child by lashing out verbally or physically. They take the necessary space when needed and give themselves what they need to be happy. They are masters of their emotions and are responsible for their own thoughts, feelings and actions. They are independent and take good care of themselves. They do not need each other, but choose each other as partners. They consciously choose each other - again and again.
These couples I have been talking about have become queens or kings themselves as human beings. You often recognise each other by their high energy and this special, calm and positive aura. You see that as a couple they form a unity and they are inseparable. They shine and glow together. They stand out because they are different. Because they live in a balance of female and male energies - of yin and yang. They have each found the strong antipole that suits them and attach great importance to keeping it that way in the long term. At the same time, they let go of each other because they are aware that their being together is based on a free choice and that this alliance can be cancelled at any time. They respect each other and give each other support, but at the same time see themselves as independent, equal and dignified individuals. They always stand up for themselves and their values first and would never bend for the other. They live their authentic selves - and do so in the context of an inspiring and growth-promoting connection.
I believe the recipe for their secret elixir is knowing yourself and finding your centre. As a woman, I find my special strength especially in the yin energy, the feminine energy. I am allowed to withdraw more, accept, let it flow, trust and surrender to life. My intuition shows me the way. Lightness and joy of living are my natural normal state, coupled with the hormonal waves of emotion ;-). In today's society, we women often tend to be very much in the male energy and do far too much. We have already learnt in school that we are judged by our performance, our discipline and our output. We start to define our worth by that or even derive our intelligence from that. We want to live up to what is expected of us and, for that very reason, often become the super strivers who don't allow themselves any mistakes and are the biggest critics of themselves. Yet we women flourish above all when we can simply be ourselves with all our liveliness, wildness, softness, creativity, beauty and all our emotions. Men love exactly that about us, don't they? They, on the other hand, are often too much in the feminine energy and not enough in the masculine (yang energy). This then manifests itself in them being very hesitant and reserved, unable to take responsibility and make decisions. In a partnership, it is often the women who wear the trousers and take over this leading part for them. Yet we women love to have a strong guiding hand at our side, to feel safe and secure in his presence and to be able to relax and know that we are loved with all our feelings and accepted as we are. And these two energy poles of yin and yang complement each other wonderfully to form a harmonious whole.
If you are now wondering where your queen or king is in life, then ask yourself if you are already one? Do you already embody the queen or king? What do you have to offer that would make a queen or king choose you from many? What we often forget is that we have to become that person before we can attract our match. A queen would most likely not be comfortable with a beggar and vice versa. They are too different. We always attract exactly the right people who are standing where we are at the moment and who want the same things as we do, even if it doesn't always seem that way at first glance. We mirror each other in our desires, issues and where we are in life. Often you have similar experiences, a similar life story and similar wounds. If you don't like what you are attracting at the moment, then you may first work diligently on yourself. You must first become a queen yourself in order to attract your king and vice versa. And if you like what you attract, then congratulations! Then you've probably come quite far on your journey! The beauty is that once we understand this, it's actually quite simple. Because it means you are in control and not at the mercy of fate and chance! Then we can save ourselves all the analysing, tactics and convincing of the other person - just like the relationship guides or the oracle. If you embody what you seek, the universe will deliver! That's the deal :-)!
I am convinced that if we simply get more in touch with ourselves again, we will automatically feel what feels natural to us and what does not. In this way, we would gradually find our way back to our natural balance of masculine and feminine energy. Because each of us possesses both energy poles, it's all about a healthy balance in our lives. This natural order would then also show itself in our relationships with other people, which could save us so much stress, irritation and misunderstandings. And the reward for your work would not only be that you would live your highest self and thereby fulfil all your dreams and desires. You would also enjoy living in a fulfilling partnership where king and queen can grow and blossom together. When two people are themselves in their full power and are also supported by a nurturing and inspiring partnership, what is not possible in life? Everything is possible!
Do you feel like a king or queen? Do you feel that you live more in the feminine or masculine energy? When do you feel that you are too strong in one of the two energies? What can you do differently in everyday life, e.g. when can you lean back more (Yin) or go into action more (Yang)? What do you want in a relationship? What do you expect from your partner? What qualities should he or she have? What do you yourself fulfil and what do you not yet fulfil? What kind of person would you like to become in order to be a dream partner yourself? How would you feel as a queen or king in a relationship?