I'm sitting in the middle of the forest right now and I'm just blinding. Leaning against a tree, my feet buried in the soft leaves and a great view of the sky through the treetops. That's the way to live! As a child I did this quite often, today I have to remind myself that it's good for me. In our adult lives, this often no longer finds a place if we don't consciously take it.
A thought just occurred to me that I wanted to share. For years, or more than a decade, I have had a very big wish. And I was sure it would come true someday. At the same time, I always wondered what was behind the wish, because often it's not as obvious as it seems at first. For example, you want great Bluetooth headphones and want them badly. But what's behind it is perhaps the need for time for yourself and peace, to isolate yourself and listen to nothing but your music and immerse yourself in this wonderful world. For a long time I didn't find out what was behind my wish, at least not 100%.
Then this year I got serious about it. You could say that circumstances almost drove me there and gave me a good kick in the butt. It worked! The time for thinking and talking was over and action was now the order of the day. And I really gave it my all. When I decide to do something, I do it wholeheartedly. Anything else would just be a waste of energy for me. And I came a hell of a long way. I really did make it by a hair! So crazy and it makes me very proud too! Sometimes we forget how easy it can be when we just go for it.
But in the end it didn't work out. I was able to take it all in my stride because I have such great faith in life now and I'm sure there's a good reason for it. It's the best thing for me and probably not my path after all. Maybe it would have been too obvious! Besides, I had given everything, so I didn't have to worry about that myself. The exciting thing is simply to realise that this "lack of energy" and the "what if" have been gone since then. This pressure and this great longing are fortunately a thing of the past and I feel freer and more relaxed. That's good because this longing always prevented me from arriving completely in the now and engaging with certain things. My current life has unconsciously always had an expiry date until the day when my wish would come true: "I don't need to tackle/make/buy that now, because I'll be gone anyway!". Because from the moment the wish was fulfilled, everything would really have been different all of a sudden!
I'm telling you this because I'm just so grateful right now and I'm sure you can take something away from my story. Maybe the reason was the lesson of proving to life my courage, determination and also my willingness to take risks. That is why I am now convinced that we should always try the things we want with all our heart. We don't need to know the outcome, because alone when we are attracted to something, there is a good reason for it. Otherwise you would not feel that desire or attraction. Life offers you an opportunity to grow and you may gratefully accept it. How ignorant it would be to reject these gifts, according to the motto: "Thank you life, but I can manage on my own! But it is precisely this gift that you receive in order to finally move forward or to finally clear up some of the chaos in your life. What I also know: "Thank you life, but this is the wrong time! Thank you, I'd rather think about it for another year so that I don't miss anything or do anything wrong! Thank you life, but I still have to do xy and I'm not ready yet! Thank you, but even though I feel this way, I don't trust it all! Would be too good to be true!" Maybe you know these self-sabotage patterns. In my case it was certainly fear of doing something wrong or also, the feeling that I still have to do and learn certain things first. And also that I had to become a more experienced person first. But these gifts are part of your life and you can accept them. Follow your heart and you can't go wrong. I am convinced of that!
No matter how it turns out, you will have grown from it later and something will have changed. My wish didn't come true, but that's finally okay after such a long time. Peace was allowed to return, I am stronger in the here and now and have shown myself what I am capable of. I have shown life, "I am ready to realise myself fully!" And life could not have given me a greater gift! We often get caught up in our heads and want to think everything through beforehand, plan it and, best of all, foresee the outcome. Try it! I can tell you from my own experience that this is quite futile. You can think forever about whether a meal tastes good. But once you've tasted it, you know within seconds. After this experience, you can finally concentrate on something else instead of constantly thinking about what it would be like. Because the energy you invest in thinking and waiting is naturally missing in other areas of your life. Your path is created as you walk, and often so is your destination. For more than ten years I tried to play oracle and imagine what it would be like. And looking back, that was completely unnecessary, because life has its own plan anyway. When I finally went off for myself, everything was different and enriching in a way I could never have planned. I found out more about myself and my desires during this "attempt", e.g. what I like, what I don't like and what is important to me in life. The heart knows better than the head, because your soul is connected to the heart - not to the head. Your head is a good supporter, but if it is overpowering, you will not get off the ground and into action. I speak from experience here! That's why I wish for you: Go for your desires, step by step, and enjoy your growth on your journey! Believe me, this is the best and only right thing you can do to be happy in life!
What are you dreaming of right now? What gifts is life handing you? Do you accept them or reject them? How do both feel? Have you ever dared to do something? Did you regret it later? Which wish would you like to tackle? What kind of person would you like to be: a thinker or a courageous doer? Which kind of person would you have more self-respect for? Which kind gives you more energy and makes you proud? What would you like to use your mind-circling energy for when you have stopped? What would you like to experience?